Come as You Are

What it is about

Emily Nagoski explains sexual wellbeing through the dual-control model of excitation and inhibition, the role of context, responsive desire, stress, body image, and the gap between genital response and subjective experience. Her central message is that variation is normal and that pleasure thrives in safer, more supportive contexts. It stays near me because the way power reaches private life and makes some people disappear from the default story should not become an idea I can praise from a safe distance.

Why I keep it

The best thing I have read on desire, and the kindest.

Key ideas

Beside it on the shelf · Gender & Society